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Please Take My Children to Work Day
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Return to Linger
THE BUZZ ON THE BIRDS AND BEES:
How to talk comfortably with your kids about sexuality.
Back to School, Back to Sex.
by Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed.
Upon starting ninth grade, a teen told her mom, “The minute you walk into high school,
all people talk about is sex — who’s having it, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with.”
Sex talk in school usually starts before high school, though.
A kindergarten teacher said one of her male students claimed, “I know how people do sex,” b
efore he proceeded to thrust his hips backward and forward. Many years ago,
my daughter was concerned when fellow sixth-grade girls complained about their “unbelievably painful period cramps.”
And it continues…A college freshman once told me, “Now I get the statistics on STIs (sexually transmitted infections) —
I see people in my dorm sleeping with one person one night and another the next.”
The start of the semester is a good time to think about how you may have prepared your child,
no matter what age, for the sex talk that he or she will hear on the bus,
the playground, the lunchroom, the halls, the locker rooms, and the dorm rooms.
Think about the messages you want your child to hear about self-respect and
respect for others, about what love and caring are, about what sex is, and about how love and care can be expressed without sexual activity.
As your child matures, provide developmentally-appropriate information about sexual health care (
from washing folds and creases to managing menstruation and unexpected erections to using contraceptives to protect against STIs and pregnancy.)
If you think your teen or college-age child is, or is considering becoming, sexually active, don’t hesitate
to share your thoughts about the pros and cons. Try not to lecture,
and listen non-judgmentally to your child’s opinions, even if you disagree.
You can only protect your child’s health if you keep the lines of communication open.
Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed. owns Honest Exchange LLC, a sexuality education consulting practice specializing
in sexual education and communication programs and training for teens, adults, healthcare professionals,
and schools. She is a co-founder and Director of Education Services for the New Jersey Center for Sexual
Wellness and is the author of “Sexuality Talking Points: A Guide to Thoughtful Conversations between Parents and Children.”
For more information, visit HonestExchange.com or
NJSexualWellness.com
*The opinions stated aren't necessarily those of MommaSaid or its principals. Seek professional advice before beginning any health program.
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