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Guest Room Archives January-June 2007

Thanks to Kari Valliere of Owen, Wisconsin,
for these photos of Jonathan, 17 months, and Katelyn, 3:

"Oh, what would make me happy? World peace and a cone of soft vanilla."


"Look, I said I don't need directions. I know where I'm going. Go away!"


"Frankly, the service around here isn't up to snuff.
You'd think somebody could have told me I have something on my face
before I left the hotel."

Thanks to Amy Thornton of Buffalo, New York,
for these photos of Kyle and Noah:

"Look, the future is in typewriters I tell you. Invest now!


Don't squeeze the pregnant one, kid.

Thanks to Susan Kulasekara of Edwardsville, Ilinois,
for this photo of Michaela, 10 and Ryan, 5:

Susan says: "Michaela informed me that they were "mascots,"
but I'm not sure for what. I guess if Darth Vader and Superman
ever decide to have their own baseball teams, they'll both have jobs."

Thanks to Nicole Pavlik of New Jersey,
for this photos of Angelina, 3:

"I need a wrench, please, and my sippy cup."

And this photo of Anthony, 8:

"Uh... I was just checking Barbie for weapons. No, really."

Thanks to Angie Garner of Indianapolis, Indiana,
for this photo of Jake, 3:

Gee, the commercial said that girls couldn't resist this body spray...

Thanks to Shelley Baty of Travis Air Force Base in California,
for these photos of Emily, 10, Zachary, 8 and Grace,:



Shelley says she has the Girl Scouts to thank for these "chocolate facials."
And suddenly my son's Cub Scouts catapult doesn't seem quite so annoying.


They look like they're going to a Christmas party hosted by Charlie's Angels.

Thanks to Sharon Barry of Port Orange, Florida,
for these photos of her niece Emily, 10 months:

It's the baby version of the "See No Evil" monkeys:
Spit No Evil...


Cruise No Evil...


And Gurgle No Evil...

Thanks to Amy Mueller of Aurora, Illinois,
for this photo of Haily, 17 months:

I see we've reached the pivotal point of
potty training when the child learns to mimic Daddy.
Let's hope she learns to put the seat down.

Thanks to Danelle Eikens of Middleburg Heights, Ohio,
for these photos of Payton, 3, and Audrey, 1, on their first RV trip:

"Woooo! Break out the chips. We're going on a road trip!"

A half-hour later:


Thanks to Dawn Laird of Lakewood, Ohio,
for this photo of...gee, what is it? Check the tag.


Thanks to my college buddy Barb Hagner of Denver, Colorado,
for this photo of Eric, 17 months:

Future commuter train rider.

Thanks to my friend Barb also for this photo of
Eric with his friend, Alexandra, 20 months:

"Wanna barbecue tonight, or should I just
pick up a pizza on the way home?"

Thanks to Kayt Sukel of Buedingen, Germany,
for this photo of her son Chet Schenck, not quite 2:

I suppose this is as close to feeling like he's in the womb as possible.
You know, if the womb had stuffed monkeys.

Thanks to Kayt also for this lovely holiday photo:

And suddenly, Santa remembered that he had
left his shin guards on his sleigh.

Thanks to Alyson English of Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
for this photo of Adelaide:

Adelaide lurched toward Darth Vader, fearing nothing,
for the Force is always with her.

Thanks to Alyson for this photo, too:

And on a lovely day, young Adelaide practiced her best Ozzie Osbourne
face for the day she appears on "Heavy Metal Star," every little girl's dream.

Thanks to my Jennifer Pirtle of London, England,
for this photo of Rhiana:

How lucky are you that it's not her class photo, Jennifer?

Thanks to my Jennifer for this photo, too:

As the princess sat on her throne, she wondered
why magic wands don't come in licorice flavor.
Or apple cinnamon. Mmmmm. That would be good.

Thanks to Susan Kulasekara of Edwardsville, Ilinois,
for this photo of her kids' Lego Stadium:

It's like having your own fan club. A quiet one, but a
fan club nonetheless. Well, except for the lady reading the
newspaper in the front row. That's just plain rude.

Thanks to Dawn Laird of Lakewood, Ohio,
for this photo Brielle:

The tastiest part of the bacon is in the middle.
Everybody knows that.

Thanks to Dawn for this photo, too:

How sumo wrestling got its start.

Thanks to Sharon Barry of Port Orange, Florida,
for this photo of Patrick at the beach on Christmas Eve:

The rest of it is in his bathing suit, and later, his bedroom carpet.

Thanks to Lisa Koenig of Blue Bell, Pennsylvania,
for this photo of Hannah, 3 1/2:

How Lyndsay Lohan learned to pose for the paparazzi.
After all, she still wears her pajamas in public.