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Here's what's new now:
 OFF MY NOODLE:
Say What? Marriage Communication 101
 REEL LIFE WITH JANE:
Jane's review of "Iron Man," in theaters now.
 PARENTING TOGETHER APART:
What You Need to Know about Co-Parenting an Adopted Child
 HAVE CHILDREN, WILL TRAVEL: Summer Travel on a Budget
 READ 'EM AND REAP: Friends By Any Name
OFF MY NOODLE
Carb-free Humor for the Mom on the Go.
Say What? Marriage Communication 101
by Judy Gruen
Before I got married, my mother sat me down to have "the talk." I wasn't looking forward to this, but I decided to grit my teeth and hear her out, even though I thought I knew what she was going to say, and furthermore, thought I knew more.
"Judy," she began in a serious tone, "there's one thing you need to understand about men."
I nodded somberly, wishing I were anywhere, even having a tooth extracted by a Zulu tribesman using primitive instruments,
rather than have to have this tete-a-tete with Mom about intimate relationships. She leaned forward and said,
"Whenever your husband comes home and brings you flowers, just smile and say, 'Thank you,' even if you hate them.
Once, Daddy brought me flowers that I thought were ugly. I thought he'd want to know what I really liked, so I told him.
He was so afraid of making another wrong choice that he didn't bring me flowers again for 23 years."
This revelation was more chilling than I ever imagined. While all the experts claimed that open communication was a key to marital success,
here was Mom, married to my father for 40 years, telling me to just keep my trap shut, perhaps dooming me to hundreds,
perhaps even thousands, of bouquets of limp daisies during the decades to come. And there wouldn't be a thing I could do about it without risking my marriage!
Mom had learned her lesson, and so when Dad brought home jewelry for her birthday or their anniversary that didn't
match her style, she quietly returned it all. Poor Dad. Defeated in the gift-buying department, he began enclosing
checks in the anniversary and birthday cards, as if he were giving a bar mitzvah gift. I took note of
this while growing up, and thought I would subvert the problem in my own marriage by "coincidentally"
leaving pages torn from jewelry catalogs around the house, with my selection circled in fat, black marker.
After all, a man's ego is a sensitive life form - why take a chance and damage it so cavalierly by rejecting
a gift when you could simply drop subtle hints?
Relationship experts also suggest that when you have something uncomfortable to say to a spouse, you do so in an empathic manner.
Frankly, this hasn't worked so well for me. For example, after three months of unsatisfactory flowers early in my marriage, I decided to try this line:
"I understand that getting this many flowers for $9.99 at the gas station is a real bargain.
But I would really love it if sometimes you could purchase them in a floral shop, since the
petals don't fall off so fast." My bold attempt at empathy was met with a hurt look, and
just as Mom predicted, the bouquets temporarily stopped. But part of my message obviously
had weasled its way through when about a month later, slightly more upscale bouquets came home,
with a Big Gulp soda thrown in for free.
I know I'm not alone. My friend Debby once said to her husband, "I know that this jacket from
high school has sentimental value, but if you look carefully, you'll see it is also unraveling
and is moth-eaten. Would you consider letting me get you a new one?"
When Debby admitted that this idea had bombed, I rolled my eyes. "Anyone who's been married more than six months
is entitled to surreptitiously help antiquated or embarrassing spousal clothing 'disappear.' It may even be a law."
The eye-rolling I practiced above, in fact, is one of the many powerful non-verbal cues we have in our
arsenals when words miss their mark. But it's not the only one. These come in handy when in public,
and include: rapid foot-tapping, kicking a spouse under the table (not too hard, lest people
notice the spouse limping out of the social hall), holding one's breath (not too long, for obvious reasons)
eyebrow furrowing (not too vigorously, lest you upset the normal pace of synapse firing), spiriting the
leftover donuts out of the house to avoid tempting the dieting stay-at-home spouse, and exchanging
"Isn't our kid a genius?" looks when your little darling has uttered something precious with guests around.
One time, my grandfather tried to let my grandmother know that he found her sleeping attire too formal,
shall we say. To make his point, one night Papa came dressed for bed in a tuxedo, top hat, and spats.
This got them both laughing, and after all, laughter is the healthiest form of communication for every couple.
 Want more laughs? Get Judy Gruen's book, The Women's Daily Irony Supplement, through her web site, JudyGruen.com, or through any online bookseller.
REEL LIFE WITH JANE
Movie and DVD reviews for you and your family.
Iron Man
by Jane Louise Boursaw
NOW IN THEATERS
Reel Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Reels
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and brief suggestive content.
Released in Theaters: May 2, 2008
Genre: Action Adventure, Superhero, Sci-Fi Thriller
Runtime: 126 minutes
Directed by: Jon Favreau
Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges
SYNOPSIS: When wealthy industrialist Tony Stark is captured by terrorists and forced to build a high-tech weapon, he turns the tables and builds an armored suit to fight evil in the world.
Sex/ Nudity: Tony Stark is a ladies' man, so the story includes references to dating and sex. Scenes include a woman waking up in bed after sex, and stewardesses dance suggestively on his private plane.
Violence/Gore: Not a lot of blood, but intense sci-fi action from start to finish, including explosions, missiles, flames, fist-fights, and characters held at gunpoint.
Profanity: Mild, including some sexually suggestive language.
Which Kids Will Like It? Kids 13 and older who like superheroes and sci-fi movies.
Will Parents Like It? Yes, the message of good vs. evil is good, but because of the violence and sexual references, this movie is best for kids 13 and older. I got the feeling the filmmakers knew little kids would want to see this movie, so they tried to keep the PG-13 content to an acceptable level.
REVIEW: When a movie begins with AC/DC's "Back in Black," you know that no matter what happens, it's got that going for it. But when a movie gets as much hype as "Iron Man," you really hope it lives up to your expectations. This one comes close, but didn't wow me as much as I hoped. The action is good, the heavy metal soundtrack is AWESOME (yes, that's in all caps on purpose), and I love Robert Downey, Jr. as ladies' man Tony Stark.
Still, the movie dragged a bit for me. I took my 13-year-old son and his friend, and all three of us felt the movie took too long building to where Tony builds the main suit of armor and gets into the "saving the world" part.
The story begins with industrialist billionaire Tony Stark in a war zone to introduce his new high-tech weaponry to the military. But things go awry when Tony's Humvee is hit by fire and he ends up in a cave being tortured by terrorists. They force him to build some weaponry for them, but instead, he builds his first crude "iron man" suit of armor, busts out of there, and makes his way back home, thanks to his military-friend Jim Rhodes (Terrence Howard).
At home, Tony re-connects with his able assistant, Pepper Potts *(Gwyneth Paltrow). In fact, the two nearly share a kiss at a party (great chemistry between these two). Also on the scene is Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges, who gets the award for most unrecognizable actor in a role), who was the right-hand man of Tony's dad before Tony took over the company.
Back in his own high-tech shop - complete with lots of hydraulics and a robot that seems more like a puppy - Tony builds a new ultra-powered incarnation of the exoskeleton that made his escape from the cave possible. With a few amusing hits and misses, he creates "Iron Man," a superhero that can battle both terrorists abroad and criminals closer to home.
And yowza, when Iron Man takes on the terrorists, you'll be wishing we had a real-life Iron Man to go over there and kick some terrorist butt.
Also playing into things is a metal "can" (for lack of a better way to say it) that was implanted into Tony's chest during his stay in the cave. Seems he took some mortar during the Humvee raid, and the only thing keeping the mortar from entering his heart is this metal can in his chest. Of course, he creates a newer upgrade for that, as well.
I really did like this movie, but as mentioned, it didn't wow me as much as I hoped. Robert Downey, Jr. can do just about anything and I'll like it. He has great chemistry with Paltrow, and you can tell he was having fun playing the beloved comic book character. However, if I was in charge of the movie (not to diss director Jon Favreau, who did a great job), I would have sped the first part along and had Iron Man take out a few more terrorists. You can tell the audience really loved that part.
JANE'S REEL RATING SYSTEM:
One Reel - Even the Force can't save it.
Two Reels - Coulda been a contender
Three Reels - Something to talk about.
Four Reels - You want the truth? Great flick!
Five Reels - Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.
 Jane Louise Boursaw is a freelance journalist specializing in the movie and television industries.
Visit her online at FilmGecko.com, ReelLifeWithJane.com
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Can't get the kids to do their chores? Check out Handipoints,
the online chore chart website and virtual world. It's like Webkinz with work. Kids earn virtual point by
performing real world chores. It's free, and yet it gives you have a shot
at the kids making their beds in the morning. How cool is that?
PARENTING TOGETHER APART
Everything you need to know for parenting after separation and divorce.
What You Need to Know about Co-Parenting an Adopted Child
By Brette Sember
As if divorce isn't hard enough, it can be even more complicated when you are trying to work
out custody of an adopted child. Adoption often makes the situation emotionally more difficult
for the child, and may make you concerned about what your rights are.
Legal Rights
If you and your spouse adopted your child together, or if one of you did a step-parent adoption,
you may be wondering how the adoption impacts custody. Technically, it doesn't. If you are both legal parents,
you both have equal rights in the eyes of the court. If one of you is also a biological parent though,
there's a good chance the court will take that fact into consideration when making a decision.
It's unlikely a court would award custody to a step-dad who recently adopted the child
over her biological mom, however it is possible because the decision is always made based
on what is in the best interests of the child. If the biological mom is shown to be a poor parent,
custody could certainly be given to the adoptive father.
Attachment Issues and Divorce
If your child is one of the many adopted children who has dealt with attachment issues, you may
find divorce to be a very difficult time for him. He may have spent years coming to grips
with the adoption itself and the loss of his biological family. Now he has to deal with another loss.
Having his family split up can cause an adopted child to regress and re-experience the feelings of
loss and grief that were related to the adoption. The upset of the divorce may cause him
to act out in ways you have not seen in years. Keep in mind that ALL children of divorce
deal with anger, loss, sadness, and confusion. Your child's reaction may be compounded by attachment issues,
but his reaction is likely not outside normal boundaries.
Therapy is almost always a good idea for children who are going through a divorce,
and this is even more the case for adopted children in a divorce. A good
therapist can help your child work through his emotions and find
coping strategies for the situations he experiences.
Reassuring Your Child
If you and your spouse can talk to your child together about the divorce,
you will be able to set the tone for her. Tell her how much you both love her and explain
that the divorce cannot change that. Talk about how you are going to work together and still
be her parents. Yes, you will live in separate homes, but you will still always be a family.
Make it very clear to her that the parent moving out is not deserting her or moving out of her life.
Adopted children often carry a deep fear that their adoptive parents will one day give them up
just as their biological parents did. Help her understand that that will never happen.
Advice for Biological Moms
The best thing you can do for your child is to work together cooperatively as parenting partners.
It does not matter if you are the bio mom and your spouse adopted her - in your child's
eyes you are both her parents and she needs you both. It can be hard as the biological mom to make
room in your child's life after divorce for a man whom you see as having hurt you.
You might think you and your child are just better off without him. However,
when you agreed to the adoption, you made him your child's parent forever. Divorce does not change that.
You asked your child to accept him as a parent. To try to change that for your child now would be very confusing and unfair.
You have to put aside your personal feelings for the other parent and find a way to work together
so that your child can have two parents who are active, cooperative, and relatively pleasant to each other when it counts.
Brette McWhorter Sember is a retired family attorney and mediator and nationally known expert about divorce and
parenting after divorce. She is the author of "The Divorce Organizer & Planner" (McGraw-Hill), "How to Parent With Your Ex:
Working Together for Your Child's Best Interest" (Sourcebooks), "The Complete Divorce Handbook" (Sterling) and
"No-Fight Divorce: Spend Less Money, Save Time, and Avoid Conflict Using Mediation" (McGraw-Hill).
Visit her web site at BretteSember.com.
ME TIME
Got Mommy Madness? Check out
myLifetime.com's all new episodes of original Web series “Mommy Madness” starring comedienne Angela Hoover
as she tiptoes across the comedic minefield that is motherhood. Angela will also host the
“Mother Knows Best” movie festival on Lifetime TV this Saturday, May 10, from 11AM-11PM (ET/PT),
and Sunday, May 11, from 10AM-10PM (ET/PT).
The movie fest will feature the U.S. Television Premiere of “Me, Mom, Dad and Her” on Saturday,
May 10, at 9PM (ET/PT), starring Melora Hardin of “The Office.”
HAVE CHILDREN, WILL TRAVEL
Ideas and Tips for the Ultimate Family Vacation
Summer Travel on a Budget
by Apryl Chapman Thomas
Summer is around the corner, yet as consumer confidence continues to fall, gas prices continue to rise and everyone is throwing around the dreaded "R" word,
a family summer vacation might be the last thing on your mind. As you begin researching destination online, you start to wonder if you are asking too much
to find a vacation spot that everyone in your family will like, and yet, saves you money.
Mary Jo Lipman, Family Travel Expert with Orbitz.com, concurs it can be a challenge to not
only stick within a budget but also to create a vacation experience that satisfies the whole family.
"You have to find a destination that strikes a nice balance," says Lipman. Some places she recommends include: Boston, Mass., Myrtle Beach, S.C., Canada (Niagara Falls area and Montreal), and San Antonio, Texas.
What are some other ways you can get a handle on your vacation dollars, yet enjoy your family vacation destination? Follow some of these tips from the experts:
Attention all Procrastinators - Book Your Family's Summer Vacation Now: Don't wait, advises Katrina Thomas, spokesperson for
Expedia.com. "Even if you are planning to travel off the beaten path, don't wait until mid-summer
to plan your vacation because availability becomes scarce and prices tend to skyrocket."
Consider vacationing in June or late August: Especially in June, prices tend to be lower, crowds lighter, the weather cooler,
and employees who deal with customers are not feeling overwhelmed and burned out, says Thomas. There is less demand for flights to Europe in
June compared to July or early August, so airfares are generally lower.
Remember -- It's Off-Season Somewhere: In search of a real bargain? Then Thomas recommends vacationing where summer is the slow season.
Take a look at places like the Rocky Mountain ski resorts, or Mexico's beaches. During the summer, rates are 50 percent to 80 percent less than peak season,
and better yet, the whole family can still enjoy the same restaurants, pools, spas, activities and in-room amenities you'd get in the high season.
Consider a Caribbean Cruise: Cruising is one of the best values for summer travel this year as cruise lines continue to cut rates to keep ships full.
"With 23 ports around the U.S., a majority of families are within a day's drive to one," says Lipman. "Cruises appeal to the whole family - from parents
to teenagers to older adults. The convenience, ease and value of cruises can not be beat."
Thomas adds that a Mediterranean cruise is also a less expensive way to see Europe as your transportation in Europe, food and lodging is paid for in
U.S. dollars before you leave. "However, just be prepared for steep transatlantic airfares to your point of embarkation."
Go the All-Inclusive Route: With all-inclusive vacations, you know all the costs upfront, says Lipman. This helps you plan your budget better.
Additionally, all-inclusive resorts offer an abundance of age-appropriate activities.
Thomas' Recommendations for Alternative Destinations
- Instead of Paris, try Quebec City for a French-tinged experience.
- Instead of Cancun, try Tulum. In Tulum, you can visit the Mayan Ruins of Tulum and the Sian Ka'an Biosphere Reserve, a UNESCO World Heritage site.
- Instead of Orlando, try the Wisconsin Dells: Wisconsin Dells is home to 18 indoor water parks, the highest concentration in the world.
- Instead of Hawaii, try Punta Cana, Dominican Republic: Off the radar of most travelers, DR is becoming one of the fastest growing destinations among Expedia travelers, says Thomas.
- Instead of New York City, try Vancouver, B.C: Vancouver, B.C. offers a cosmopolitan atmosphere, plenty of culture and hotel rates are half as much as you'd pay in the Big Apple.
- Instead of Miami, try Ponce or Old San Juan, Puerto Rico: Puerto Rico offers a vibrant Latin-style flavor in the 400-year old port city of San Juan, deserted Caribbean beaches near Ponce, and the El Yunque Rainforest.
- Instead of London, try Ottawa: Visit Ottawa, Ontario and take in its magnificent Parliament Buildings, home to the Parliament of Canada, or head to Victoria, British Columbia, on Canada's far western edge where you can sit outside under the flower boxes in any number of English-style pubs.
Next up: Part Three: Family Friendly Budget Destinations that Everyone Will Enjoy
 Apryl Chapman Thomas is a freelance writer in Watkinsville, GA, who enjoys traveling the open road, even with her husband and four-year-old daughter, Shay, in tow.
Apryl shares her first-hand knowledge of family travel to share with you in hopes that not only will you not make the same mistakes,
but to help you and your family plan a family getaway to remember in a good way.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Does your baby have a bad case of bed head? Send in a photo to the Crazy Baby Hair
contest at Family.com and you could win $5,000 to go toward your baby's college fund. Sponsored by Johnson's, the contest ends May 30th, so dig up those photos now
and enter.
 READ 'EM AND REAP
Books to help your child grow.
Friends By Any Name
by Mia Geiger
In preschool, my daughter met a girl who instantly became her “best friend.”
The two ran to each other every day, played together after school and pretty much adored each other. They seemed destined to be close forever.
The following year, they were in different schools and rarely saw each other. Just like that, the love affair was over.
For me, it was jarring to see how two kids could be so close and then seem to not even care about one another.
As her mom, I can guess which of her friends might
stay the distance and who will be a pit stop in her life. Of course, she’s not thinking about which of her first-grade friends
will be the maid of honor at her wedding — she just wants someone to play hopscotch with. Which is as it should be.
It’s tough for a mom not to notice, though, which kids didn’t invite her to their birthday party or which ones don't move over for her on the bus.
I want to protect her from every little hurt, including friend mishaps, but this is one area I have to let her fall and scrape her knees.
My wish for my daughter is to have as many friends as she wants, to have the friends feel the same way about her,
and to make at least one friend who will be there for her when it counts.
These children’s books reveal the delights and bumps of friendship in fun-yet-true ways.
Fabian Escapes, by Peter McCarty
Henry Holt & Co. (Ages 3 & up)
Hondo and Fabian team up for a second adventure in this lushly illustrated story. This time, the lovable Fabian the cat and Hondo the dog each have their own adventures — Fabian outside and Hondo indoors. By day’s end, they warmly welcome each other back.
Dog & Bear: Two’s Company, by Laura Vaccaro Seeger
Roaring Brook Press (Ages 3-7)
Not many moms will be able to resist the artwork and endearing characters in this series. The rich colors, simple line-drawings and emotion-filled faces of a daschund and stuffed bear — evoke emotions of childhood, friendship and adventure. In this second installment, three short stories tenderly explore friendship, with some quirky humor mixed in, as well as subtle lessons about behaving kindly.
There is a Bird on Your Head, by Mo Willems
Hyperion (Ages 4-8)
In a word: hilarious. Gerald Elephant is the pessimist; Piggie sees the glass as half full. Together, these two toddler-like characters take care of each other through silly escapades. In this award-winning book, Gerald is horrified to learn a bird has taken up residence on his head. The series is addictive, and moms will laugh as much as the kiddies.
Don’t Worry Bear, by Greg Foley
Viking (Ages 3-5)
Just as in Foley’s charming debut, “Thank You Bear,” this one features expressive characters and sparse yet meaningful prose capturing the goodness of friendship without a hint of melodrama. This time, Bear is concerned about his friend, Caterpillar. But the insect-undergoing-metamorphosis reassures the cub every step of the way. Bear’s cherubic face and realistic posture on the last page show pure child-like joy.
Hannah Duck, by Anji Yamamura
Kane/Miller (Ages 4-6)
Not a series, but a heartwarming story about a duck who is scared to venture outside. Her animal friends give her the gentle nudge she needs.
Mia Geiger is a freelance writer and member of the National Book Critics Circle. Visit her at MiaGeiger.com.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Enter the Vlasic Stork Baby contest for your chance to win up to $25,000.
If you give birth to a baby in May 2008, submit your baby’s name, height, weight, etc. with a photo and an entry about why your
baby should be the Vlasic Stork Baby at Vlasic.com.
The winning family receives a $20,000 savings bond plus a trip to appear on a nationally syndicated New York morning show
to debut the first “Vlasic Stork Baby.” As an added bonus, if the family makes the winning baby’s middle name “Crunch,” the savings bond is
increased to $25,000. (That would make a great middle name for Gwyneth Paltow's kid, Apple, wouldn't it?)
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