by Brette Sember

In most divorces or separations, the children live together at one parent’s home. There are times though, when the children end up in different households after a separation or divorce. In general, courts believe it is in the best interest of siblings for them to live together. A divorce is hard enough, but to ‘lose’ a parent and also a sibling at the same time is a huge change.

If you had Child A living with you and your ex had Child B living with him and you each had visitation with the opposite child on the weekends, the two children would never actually see each other. The sibling relationship is one that courts want to preserve and which you as a parent should be concerned about maintaining as well.

When You Should Split Your Kids Up
Most of the time, as I’ve said, you want your kids to have their primary residence together. There are some situations when this isn’t the best plan. If you have two children who are very, very combative or abusive with each other, putting some space between them could be a wise thing. This could also be useful if one child is working through some serious mental health problems, or if you find parenting both of them together all the time is an impossible task because of the way they behave when they are together and a therapist recommends a separation between the siblings.

If you are in a situation where Child A has a very difficult relationship with you and Child B has a very difficult relationship with your ex, it might make sense to place them with the parents they are least combative with. Consulting with a therapist is a wise move before making this type of decision. Remember that ALL kids go through phases where they are in conflict with a sibling or parent and this does NOT mean an automatic separation is the solution. In fact, in most situations, it is best if everyone remains in place and learns how to work through the problems they are facing.

Perhaps the most common split custody situation happens when one child is an older teen and feels like there is more freedom at the non-residential parent’s home and asks to live there. This is usually an attempt to try a little wing-spreading and test the waters of independence away from the residential parent. Living with mom and kid brothers or sisters sometimes feels babyish to older teens who see the other parent’s home as the perfect solution.

It’s also common for a teen to seek same-sex bonding and want to live with the same-sex parent. In these situations, you and your ex need to talk about what the teen is asking for. If you’re both willing to give it a try, it can be a helpful experiment. The teen often finds the grass is not always greener on the other side. If you are opposed to it but your ex is not, you should know that courts do generally listen to teen’s preferences as long as the other parent can provide a safe home.

When Money Woes Play a Role
Some families consider splitting the kids up because neither parent feels financially able to support all of the children in one home. This idea is usually misguided – if you have all of the children, you will be entitled to child support, which will make it more financially feasible.

Explaining the Split to the Kids
If you do come to the conclusion that your kids would be better off in different houses, it is very important that you do not paint one child as the difficult one whose fault it is. Always make it clear that you the parents have decided this is what is best (or that the judge decided this) and it is no one’s fault and there is nothing the children did that made it happen.
Brette McWhorter Sember is a retired family attorney and mediator and nationally known expert about divorce and parenting after divorce. She is the author of The Complete Divorce Handbook (Sterling), The Divorce Organizer & Planner(McGraw-Hill), How to Parent With Your Ex: Working Together for Your Child’s Best Interest (Sourcebooks) and No-Fight Divorce: Spend Less Money, Save Time, and Avoid Conflict Using Mediation (McGraw-Hill). Her web site is www.BretteSember.com.

by Mia Geiger

One of my favorite things about having a baby was telling her how much she meant to me. I’d whisper mushy sentiments to her over and over. How could I not, what with those tiny toes, button nose and scrumptious smile?

I also read books to her that expressed similar sentiments. Even if she didn’t understand the meaning of what I was saying, the gentle words of the stories were soothing, and the pictures of babies and toddlers were fun to explore.

Maybe it was all those new-mom hormones, but whenever I saw a book that talked about a mother’s love and the preciousness of a baby, I was helpless. I’d borrow several books at a time from the library, and when I spotted an especially lovey-dovey book at the bookstore, if I could, I’d splurge. Looking back, it wasn’t such a bad habit!

Share and enjoy these books that say “I love you” with your new little one:

Baby, I Love You, by Karma Wilson; illustrated by Sam Williams
Ages 1-4, Little Simon
Adorable watercolors matched with sweet, singsongy verse make this board book one to reach for again and again: “Love my baby’s little hands, love those little fingers, too./Love my baby, little one. Oh, my baby, I love you!”

All of Baby, Nose to Toes, by Victoria Adler; illustrated by Hiroe Nakata
Ages 0-2, Dial
Playful prose and cheerful artwork celebrate a baby’s body parts. “Baby’s got eyes, bright little eyes. Round as pies eyes. Just the right size eyes. Like an owl—wise eyes. Peeka-peeka boo.”

My First Memories, by Jodi Huelin; illustrated by Betsy Veness
Ages 6 months & up, HarperCollins
Short, upbeat, baby-friendly sentences punctuate this board book that doubles as a photo album. One page reads: “Baby polar bear likes to be held.” The facing page says: “I like being held, too!” and includes a space for a 5×7 photograph. Moms will enjoy placing photos in this book and babies will love seeing themselves!

Before You Were Here, Mi Amor, by Samantha R. Vamos; illustrated by Santiago Cohen
Ages 4 and up, Viking
From eating healthy foods to painting the nursery, warm words in English and Spanish show youngsters just what mom and dad did as they prepared for their new baby: “Before you were here, tu papi carved a mecedora from the wood of an old walnut tree so you and I could rock together.” Bright and colorful watercolors complement the text. An English/Spanish glossary of 70-plus words appears at the back of the book.

Mia Geiger is a freelancer is the Philadelphia area.

What’s with the Weight Creep?

by Kathy Sena

Young women with a weight problem often say the weight started creeping up when they had their first child and they found they had less time to exercise. However, when researchers added up all factors, they found that the fact that a woman is married and has a baby has more influence on weight gain than whether she is being physically active.

That’s the key message from the Australian Longitudinal Study on Women’s Health, a 10-year study from the School of Human Movement Studies at the University of Queensland. The findings appeared recently in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

“The weight gain appeared to start when they married, then worsened when they had their first child,” says lead author Wendy J. Brown, Ph.D. “There was no effect on the rate of weight gain from having a second baby.”

From 1996 to 2006, researchers periodically surveyed a randomly selected group of 6,458 Australian women who were ages 18 to 23 at the study’s start. “Women with no partner and no baby averaged 11 pounds over 10 years. With a partner and no baby, they gained about 15 pounds, and if they had a partner and a baby they gained 20 pounds,” Brown says. “The so-called energy-balance variables like eating too much and moving too little had an effect, but the estimates of weight gain are adjusted for differences in these factors,” she adds.

Brown says young women ages 18 to 33 are gaining weight at a higher rate than their mother’s generation did. “If it continues, this generation will end up with more health problems later in life. It is important to understand the causes of this weight gain.”

A U.S. expert offers a different explanation for the weight-gain gap. “Eleven pounds gained by single women is interesting. As far as I know, weight gain is not a physiologic consequence of normal aging, but more a reflection of cheap, widely available food and less physical activity,” says Julie Fagan, M.D., a women’s-health specialist with University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics in Madison, Wisconsin.

“Weight-control issues for married women with kids include less time to prepare nutritious meals and more reliance on fast food, takeout and processed food. Women may overeat due to mindless ingestion of comfort food,” Fagan says. “This is particularly true during the newborn stage. Sleep deprivation can lead to eating to try and fuel the brain to stay awake. We know that people who sleep more tend to weigh less.”

Kathy Sena is an award-winning health and parenting writer and the mother of a 14-year-old son. Visit her website at KathySena.com and check out her blog, Parent Talk Today.

by Christina Frank

Back when R & I were following the American Dream instruction manual–that is, mom, dad and the kids all living under the same roof–it was pretty clear which two of us were the parents and which two were the kids. When that manual was taken in the night and replaced by the Mid-Life Crisis Manifesto–which instructed R to move out asap–the family dynamics changed.

I’m technically still the mom, but the lines between myself and my daughters have blurred considerably, especially as we head into Day Five of our bi-monthly five-day 50/50 custody stretch. Here are some common scenarios that occur when it’s just the three of us gals at home:

•Older Daughter (OD) is Younger Daughter’s (YD) mom. Love this one. Suddenly OD will announce that she wants to give YD her bath, or put her to bed, or make her dinner, or pick her up from the school bus. I never protest and, in fact, sometimes go too far–like when I recently asked if she’d mind raising YD for a few years so I could see what it’s like to live in Costa Rica.

•Older Daughter thinks she’s my spouse. Not into this one at all. OD thinks she can scold me for forgetting to pack Pirate’s Booty in YD’s lunch? I don’t think so.

•Younger Daughter thinks she’s my mom. YD thinks she can shout from the back seat that there’s a red light so I need to put my foot on the brakes? I don’t think so.

•I’m the third sister. Sometimes I’m misunderstood and left out like Jan Brady, but usually I get to be Marcia, the groovy oldest one who knows about boys and bikini waxes and is worshiped for that. The flip side is that as the capricious big sis, I often want the kids to leave me alone so I can go on Facebook and/or exchange emails with my far-out boyfriend. Also, I will howl if one of my baby sisters tries to replace my David Bowie CD with anything by someone named Taylor or Miley.

•I’m a neglectful mom, who has spent the entire f***ing weekend getting the girls snacks (my god, do they ever stop wanting snacks??), combing out their head lice, driving them places, reminding them to do homework, doing laundry, and vacuuming up the snack crumbs. As Neglectful Mom, I have to sit down with a glass (or two) of wine and pretend I don’t know that the girls are upstairs watching TV for the fourth hour in a row. In fact, even if YD wants to cuddle in my lap and have me read to her, I am prone to saying something like “Hey, isn’t Wizards of Waverly Place on now?”

But before you dial Social Services, remember that these are the exceptions and that I tend to exaggerate. Mostly I’m the Perfect Mom, and I’m sure that’s how my girls will remember me.

Christina Frank lives in Brooklyn, NY, with her two daughters. She has written hundreds of articles for magazines, including Parenting, Health, Redbook, Good Housekeeping and Working Mother. Check out her blog Living in Splitsville: Notes on a Midlife Makeover.

by Jane Louise Boursaw

Reel Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Reels
MPAA Rating: PG for mild language, some rude humor and sports action.
Released in Theaters: Jan. 22, 2010
Genre: Family, Comedy
Runtime: 101 minutes
Directed by:Michael Lembeck
Cast:Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Ashley Judd, Stephen Merchant, Seth MacFarlane, Julie Andrews, Chase Ellison, Destiny Grace Whitlock, Billy Crystal
Official Site: http://www.toothfairy-movie.com

SYNOPSIS: A mean minor-league hockey player (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is best known for knocking the teeth out of his opponents (thus the nickname) and crushing kids’ dreams. Imagine his surprise when he’s sentenced to serve two weeks as a real tooth fairy.

Sex/Nudity: An unmarried couple share a few kisses, and it appears that they spend the night at each others’ homes. A locker-room scene shows shirtless hockey players.

Violence/Gore: Lots of action in the hockey rink, including falls, chases and one scene where the rink glass is shattered and a tooth flies out of a player’s mouth.

Profanity: Some insults, including “emo boy,” “old man,” and “shut up.”

Which Kids Will Like It? Kids seven and older who like cute family movies, “The Rock” or movies with a sports theme.

Will Parents Like It? Yes, it’s a cute family movie with a good message about the importance of dreams (and grownups not crushing those dreams!).

REVIEW: As mentioned in last week’s review of “The Spy Next Door,” there’s really only so much you can do with a kid’s movie. The plot usually revolves around an adult dealing with bratty or apathetic kids, and all is eventually resolved in the end.

“The Tooth Fairy” follows that formula, but what makes it work is the players (it doesn’t get much better than Julie Andrews, Billy Crystal and Seth MacFarlane), and the quality of the production, which is pretty good in this instance. You can tell the filmmakers put some thought into the story, the characters and the music, and it all comes together in a nice family movie that makes you laugh and is good for both kids and adults.

Derek Thompson (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) plays an aging minor-league hockey player who’s dealing with a new – and much younger — player who’s honing in on Derek’s turf.

Meanwhile, Derek — known as “the tooth fairy” because of his penchant for taking out opponents’ teeth during hockey games – is having some troubles off the rink, as well. His girlfriend Carly (Ashley Judd) has two kids who aren’t warming up to Derek at all. It doesn’t help that he’s known for crushing kids’ dreams, telling them to lower their expectations when it comes to dreaming big.

After one particularly dream-crushing moment after a game (a kid wants to grow up to be “just like Derek” and he tells the kid it’s probably not going to happen), Derek gets a summons from the official tooth fairy department. Yes, there’s a place where all the tooth fairies learn their craft, helmed by Julie Andrews (complete with wings!). When Derek is dropped unceremoniously into the place, he finds that he’s sprouted wings and is wearing a pink tutu (that’s a technical glitch – he eventually ends up with a smashing blue outfit).

The scene-stealers in this movie are his trainer, Tracy (British actor Stephen Merchant) — who’d really like to be a tooth fairy himself — and an aging fairy played by Billy Crystal who issues all the tools and gadgets a la “Q” in James Bond. Oh, and Seth MacFarlane (“Family Guy”) pops up, too.

You can see where this is headed. Derek gets a wake-up call regarding the importance of dreams and has to figure out how to connect with his girlfriend’s kids Randy and Tess (Chase Ellison and Destiny Grace Whitlock). Randy is supposed to play his electric guitar in the school talent show but is sorely lacking in confidence, so Derek helps him practice by playing his drums with him.

I wouldn’t say this is the best family movie I’ve ever seen, but there are some pretty funny parts, like when Derek bumbles his way through learning how to be a tooth fairy, which involves stalking cats, kids who wake up, and freaked-out parents unaware of the whole tooth fairy business. He finally dons some hockey gear and decides to do it “his way,” and then things get really funny.

As mentioned, Billy Crystal and Stephen Merchant get some of the best lines, especially when Billy’s character is teaching Derek about amnesia powder (“Never gets old!”). Other gadgets include a wand with all-purpose magic generator button, shrinking paste, dog bark mints, cat-away, and invisibility spray.

All in all, this is a fun family movie that will make you laugh, and that contains very few questionable things for kids. It’s implied that Derek and Carly spend nights together sometimes, but it’s never shown beyond the fact that she kicks him out one night for being a dolt. Other than that, the PG rating is on target.

JANE’S REEL RATING SYSTEM:
One Reel – Even the Force can’t save it.
Two Reels – Coulda been a contender
Three Reels – Something to talk about.
Four Reels – You want the truth? Great flick!
Five Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

Jane Louise Boursaw is a freelance journalist specializing in the movie and television industries. Visit her online at www.filmgecko.com, www.ReelLifeWithJane.com or email jboursaw@charter.net.

by Melanie Davis, MEd, CSE

ABC News recently ran a story about a pedophile who had a frightening way to reach children: he posed as a zoo photographer. The man, who is currently on trial, posed as a photographer taking pictures of kids at the zoo. He would then offer the photos to parents, requesting their home address so he could mail the photos. Some parents complied, and police are seeking others who may have fallen for the trick.

This is scary because it seems innocent. What parents wouldn’t be flattered that a professional photographer took an interest in their child? But this is also a wake-up call. As parents and children get more savvy about protection from predators, child predators find new ways to reach potential victims.

It’s important not to get paranoid because predators are far outnumbered by strangers and friends who would never consider exploiting children. But, common sense should prevail. When families are out in public, there’s no way to control the picture taking, but the parents in the news stories had some options once they were approached by the photographer. A family in a similar situation could do the following…

•  Assume the photographer was a professional but but refuse to provide a home address. They could ask for a business card so they could view the photos on the photographer’s website and pay to download photos they wish to purchase.
•  Ask to view the photos on the photographer’s digital camera, on the spot. A professional with nothing to hide would be happy to comply because it might lead to a request for additional family photos and income.
• Request that the photographer delete photos of the child on the spot. The photographer has no legal obligation to comply if the photos were taken in a public space, but if there’s no potential sales value, the request might be honored.
• Report the photographer to the police or area security force. This might cause a bit of embarrassment to a legitimate photographer, but it also might help protect potential victims of child predators posing as photographers.

For these scenarios, other types of people could be substituted for the photographer — an ice cream vendor, a person with a lost puppy or bicycle, an adult or teen who insists on being alone with a child. In December, the news came out about a pediatrician, Earl Bradley, who molested approximately 100 young patients. How? He asked parents to allow him to be alone with their children, and the parents complied.

Let me be clear that the predator is always at fault, not the parents, and certainly not the child. But parents can inadvertently make things easier for predators by not taking an active role in monitoring who their child spends time with, where, and why. And by blindly trusting that authority figures like physicians, teachers, coaches and other professionals will always to the right thing.

Parenting is an art, not a skill. It requires us to combine knowledge and gut instinct about what feels right at any given time. So, gather the facts and listen to your gut. If something seems odd to you, ask questions and remember that you have every right to protect your child’s best interests.

Melanie J. Davis, MEd, CSE is the founder of Honest Exchange LLC, a sexuality education consulting firm in Somerville, NJ. Visit her site at HonestExchange.com.She is a blogger and the author of “Sexuality Talking Points: A Guide to Thoughtful Conversation between Parents and Children.” She is the co-founder and Director of Education Services for the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness in Bedminster, NJ., at NJSexualWellness.com.

Review by Jane Louise Boursaw

Reel Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Reels
MPAA Rating: PG for some mild rude humor
Released in Theaters: Dec. 23, 2009
Genre: Family, Musical, Animated
Runtime: 88 minutes
Directed by: Betty Thomas
Cast: Zachary Levi, David Cross, Jason Lee, Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney, Amy Poehler, Anna Faris, Christina Applegate
Official Site: http://munkyourself.com/

SYNOPSIS:Now in the care of Dave Seville’s nephew Toby (Zachary Levi), Alvin, Simon and Theodore take a break from pop-music stardom and return to school, where they meet the Chipettes, a female chipmunk singing group.

Sex/Nudity:The Chipettes include suggestive hip movements in their act. Boy and girl chipmunks flirt and have crushes on each other. Toby and a former schoolmate like each other.

Violence/Gore:Some scary scenes when Theodore develops a fear of eagles and runs into a real one (but he overcomes the fear). Some bullying at school, including a toilet “swirly” scene. A greedy talent agent locks the Chipettes in a cage, but all is resolved in the end.

Profanity: One use of “junk in the trunk,” as well as words like “butt” and “big jerk.”

Which Kids Will Like It? Kids six and older who liked the first Chipmunk movie or CG animated movies.

Will Parents Like It? Yes, other than the suggestive dances in the Chipettes’ act, it’s a cute movie and all of the issues are resolved in the end.

REVIEW:After an onstage mishap lands Dave (Jason Lee) in the hospital, the Chipmunks end up in the care of his slacker cousin Toby (Zachary Levi). Alvin (Justin Long), Theodore (Jesse McCartney) and Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler) attend school and discover girls, bullies, and peer pressure, as Alvin joins the football team and spends less time with his brothers.

Meanwhile, the nefarious talent agent from the first movie, Ian (David Cross), returns and takes the new Chipettes (Amy Poehler, Anna Faris and Christina Applegate) under his wing. Only his intentions are mainly to make money for himself. And things don’t go well when the Chipmunks and the Chipettes find themselves competing against each other in a school singing competition, in order to save the school’s music program.

This movie is cute and entertaining, especially the musical numbers, which include a take-off on Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” The songs are fun, the characters are likeable (except for Ian), and all of the issues involving the chipmunks and humans are resolved in the end. Zachary Levi is a great addition to the fold, and I can see more Chipmunk movies being made.

Sometimes it’s nice to have a fun movie you don’t have to think about, one that both kids and adults can just sit back and enjoy in all its silliness. And the chipmunks are just adorable.

JANE’S REEL RATING SYSTEM:
One Reel – Even the Force can’t save it.
Two Reels – Coulda been a contender
Three Reels – Something to talk about.
Four Reels – You want the truth? Great flick!
Five Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

Jane Louise Boursaw is a freelance journalist specializing in the movie and television industries. Visit her online at FilmGecko.com or ReelLifeWithJane.com or email jboursaw@charter.net.

by Vanessa Van Petten

The Internet talk is the new sex talk.  You need to have it with your kids, and you need to have it early.  Like sex, the Internet can be a very scary and dangerous thing that should only be used at certain ages and always done correctly.  Yet, it can also be wonderful and exciting, and, now, it is a true part of life.

Age 2-5: Internet use begins at around ages 2-4. I recently saw my three-year-old cousin start Safari, open YouTube and find Dora Explorer videos all by herself.  As soon as your child picks up the a mouse, you should be having discussions.  Here are the topics to cover for this age group:

-The terms: Explaining the Net-Generation in Parent-Friendly Terms, Go over what a website is, what the difference between YouTube and TV is, a mouse and laptop versus a desktop.

-13 Holy CyberCitizenship Laws: I would hope that this age child should only be going online with mom and dad, or left in a set game or website.  Go over the rules about using the computer with or without mom and dad and what is allowed.

Age 6-7: This is school-age where they are more likely to want to go online with friends and could be discovering sites like Club Penguin, Webkinz and their favorite shows on video sites.

-Spam and Advertising: Parents need to talk about the banner ads and those free offers for a trip to Disneyland…they are not real!

-Strangers vs Friends: Cyberpredators are not as common as the media makes them out to be, but they are out there.  Talk to your kids about never talking to strangers online, just like they would never do on the street.

Ages 8-10:

- Private information and financial info.  This should be also mentioned earlier but gone over in detail at this age.

-Searching. Kids are usually searching more on Google and YouTube now, this is a good time to talk to them about thinking before they click and what happens when they go to a site that is not so good.

Ages 11-13:

-Online friends vs. Real life friends.  You need to talk about house rules on chatting with strangers, during homework time and recording information.

-Help Tackling Cyberbullying. What should your child do if they are cyberbullied or if they see someone else being cyberbullied.

Ages 14-16:

-For Parents: What is Social Networking, Facebook and MySpace? What are the ups and downs.  How to maintain good connections and still share online.

-Online Reputation Management or Techno Perfection and posting things online lasts forever.  Privacy online is not the same as privacy offline!

Ages 17-18:

-Getting ready for Google Search from colleges and employers.  There should be no bad stuff up there (because you have had all of these talks), but also beefing up the good stuff.

- Online Information Overload and Balance.  At this age, searching and social networking is most likely free range, but balance and time management is a constant struggle!

-Cotton Candy Friends.  Make sure your teens know the difference between real friends and cotton candy friends before they go off to college.

The talk should be constant.  Open communication about these issues is the key to leveraging the Internet’s highlights and avoiding its pitfalls.  Always be there for your kids to talk and be sure to cover all of these issues with them.

Vanessa Van Petten is the teen author of the parenting book “You’re Grounded!” She writes a parenting blog along with 12 other teen writers from the kid’s perspective to help parents understand what is actually going on in the mind of kid’s today. Her parenting tips have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Daily News, Fox 5 New York, CBS 4 Miami and much more. Visit her web site at RadicalParenting.com

by Jane Louise Boursaw

Reel Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Reels
MPAA Rating: G
Released in Theaters: Dec. 11, 2009
Genre: Family, Musical, Animated
Runtime: 97 minutes
Directed by: Ron Clements

Cast: Anika Noni Rose, Jennifer Cody, Oprah Winfrey, Terrence Howard, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Jenifer Lewis, Michael-Leon Wooley, Jim Cummings

SYNOPSIS: Set in New Orleans during the jazz age, this animated fairy tale centers on a young girl named Tiana and her fateful kiss with a frog prince who desperately wants to be human again.

Sex/Nudity: Some innocent flirting and one kiss. Prince Naveen is a ladies’ man, but it’s mainly shown through mild flirting.   

Violence/Gore: The voodoo magician and his shadow figures who do his dirty work are a little scary, but not overly so. A brief scene features hunters who shoot at a bayou character. A major character is injured and dies (not from the shooting, though), but the funeral scene is handled really well for a kids’ movie, and the outcome is amazingly upbeat.

Profanity: None.

Which Kids Will Like It? Kids and adults of all ages who like old-fashioned, animated fairy tales with a happy ending.

Will Parents Like It?  Yes, it’s a beautiful story with very little questionable content.

REVIEW: Just when you think there aren’t any good family movies being made anymore, along comes a gem like “The Princess and the Frog” It’s got everything going for it, including a cast of colorful characters, a sweet old-fashioned story, snazzy musical numbers, and a cool Deep South setting.

The story, which is a modern-day retelling of the classic story “The Frog Prince,” begins in New Orleans during the Jazz Age. Young Tiana (voiced by Anika Noni Rose) tags along with her mother, a seamstress at a wealthy man’s mansion. Tiana and the man’s daughter, Charlotte (Jennifer Cody), are close friends, even though they’re in very different classes in the Old South.

At home, Tiana and her parents (Oprah Winfrey and Terrence Howard) live a poor life, but one that’s rich in friends and family, as they gather for a bowl of her dad’s famous gumbo on the porch. Tiana, too, is a wonderful cook, and she dreams of opening a classy restaurant some day.

Fast-forward about 20 years and Tiana is still holding fast to that dream, working several jobs and saving pennies to buy an old building she hopes to fix up for her restaurant.

But things go horribly awry when the arrogant, carefree Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos) comes to town. He’s transformed into a frog by the evil voodoo magician Dr. Facilier (Keith David), but when the frog gets Tiana to kiss him (thinking she’s a princess who will turn him human again), she herself turns into a frog! The two embark on a journey through the bayou in search of an old woman named Mama Odie (Jenifer Lewis) who lives in a tree and might be able to reverse the spell.

Along the way, the pair cross paths with a trumpet-playing alligator named Louis (Michael-Leon Wooley) — I kept thinking about Baloo the Bear from “The Jungle Book” — a Cajun firefly (Jim Cummings), and several other fun characters.

What they don’t know, however, is that the Prince’s servant is back in the city working with the magician to marry Charlotte and inherit her father’s wealth.

It’s not often that I come across a family movie that I truly want to see again, but I would see “The Princess and the Frog” again in a heartbeat. It’s a fresh breeze of good, old-fashioned hand-drawn animation and human stories that motor along at just the right pace. It’s not 3D, which I appreciate, and it’s delightfully free of fast-paced car crashes and gross-out humor.

“The Princess and the Frog” is really just a sweet movie that both kids and adults will love.

JANE’S REEL RATING SYSTEM:
One Reel – Even the Force can’t save it.
Two Reels – Coulda been a contender
Three Reels – Something to talk about.
Four Reels – You want the truth? Great flick!
Five Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

Jane Louise Boursaw is a freelance journalist specializing in the movie and television industries. Visit her online at www.filmgecko.com, www.ReelLifeWithJane.com or email jboursaw@charter.net.

by Brette McWhorter Sember

If you share holiday custody with your ex, you may be facing a holiday alone this season without your child.  It can be difficult to be separated from your child, but you can get through the holiday with these guidelines:

• Talk to your child. Make sure your child understands where he or she will be spending the holiday.  Mark the plans on a calendar so that the schedule is solid in your child’s eyes.  Explain to your child that you will miss him or her while he/she is with the other parent on the holiday, but point out that you’re happy that he/she will be having fun and want him/her to have a good time. While it’s important to be honest with your child, it is equally important that you not burden him or her with the responsibility for your happiness.  Don’t tell your child that you will be miserable, lonely, in tears or completely depressed while he or she is with the other parent.  It’s ok to say you will miss him or her, but follow this statement with reassurances that you’ll be together again soon. 
• Make plans with your child.  Plan out with your child when you will celebrate the holiday together. It’s not important what you do or when you do it, as long as you plan a way for you and your child to celebrate the holiday together in some way the next time you are together.  This will help your child feel confident that both parents are truly a part of his or her life and will give you something to plan for and look forward to.
• Consider holidays together.  Some parents find that in the first few years after a divorce, it works best if they spend important holidays together with their child (for example, having the non-custodial parent come over to spend Christmas morning with the custodial parent and child).  If you think this option would work for you, try it.
• Touch base.  Plan to have some kind of contact with your child on the holiday itself.  Call him or her on the phone or even to stop by for a quick hug and kiss on the other parent’s front porch (if you and the other parent agree this will not make your child upset).  Making contact with your child on the holiday itself will not only help your child cope, but will help ease your own feelings of loneliness.
• Make plans for yourself.  The key to getting through a major holiday without your child is to plan ahead for it.  If your family celebrates together for this holiday, get involved in planning the event and look forward to spending the day with them.  Plan a get together with friends or spend the day wrapping gifts for your child.  It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you plan something out.
• Think about what you want.  Give some thought to what you really want to get out of this holiday.  Are there things you have always wanted to do, but have never been able to?  Maybe you’ve always wanted to go to a football game on Thanksgiving Day, perhaps you always dreamed of caroling on Christmas Eve or hoped to host a Kwanzaa feast.  Now is your chance to fulfill your holiday wish list.

 Filling Alone Time

Even if you’ll be attending a party or hosting some kind of event, there will be some time on the holiday when you will be alone and if you have no plans, the day may loom long and empty before you.  Take some time before the day comes around to plan out some things you can do on your own.  Look around your community for events celebrating the holiday – church services, community get-togethers, civic events, single parent gatherings and so on.  Don’t be afraid to go alone – there are a lot of other parents who are also alone on holidays.

 If your day still looks wide open, make a list of things you can do just by yourself.  These don’t have to be earth-shattering, spectacular plans.  Anything that makes you happy and gives you something to do works.  Try some of these suggestions:

-         take a long walk alone

-         buy a special meal to have alone at home

-         cook a special meal for yourself

-         go to a movie

-         read a good book

-         rent videos

-         give yourself a home beauty treatment

-         buy yourself something you’ve been wanting – wrap it up for yourself to unwrap if you want

-         get a big project done around the house, such as painting or wallpapering

-         organize your photographs or make scrapbooks

-         clean out your closets or basement

-         get a big project done for work

-         give some time to a local charity

-         stay in bed all day

-         go away for the day or the weekend to someplace you’ve always wanted to visit

-         chat online with other parents who are alone

-         create something special to surprise your child with – a mural on his or her wall, a batch of cookies, a fort you built in the backyard and so on

-         start a new hobby – start knitting, hit some golf balls, make wreaths, build model airplanes – anything that is new that interests you

The key to remember is that you can get through a holiday alone and that real holidays with your child happen when you make them.

Brette McWhorter Sember is a retired family attorney and mediator and nationally known expert about divorce and parenting after divorce.  She is the author of The Divorce Organizer & Planner (McGraw-Hill), How to Parent With Your Ex: Working Together for Your Child’s Best Interest (Sourcebooks), The Complete Divorce Handbook (Sterling), and No-Fight Divorce: Spend Less Money, Save Time, and Avoid Conflict Using Mediation (McGraw-Hill).  Her web site is www.BretteSember.com.