Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

by Brette Sember

It’s here – summer. Kids dream of it all year. Often the highlight of the summer for kids and parents is a family vacation. When you’re divorced or separated, family vacations can be more complicated. You’ve got a parenting plan to work around and an ex to deal with. Follow these tips to make sure summer vacations live up to their potential. (more…)

by Christina Frank

It’s been almost exactly two years since R moved out. I honestly can’t believe it has been that long–even though we middle-aged folks are constantly bemoaning the brisk passage of time. My goodness, wasn’t I just writing the post about surviving the first year? Where has the time gone? (more…)

by Brette Sember

Jan prides herself on being a good mother. She is a highly motivated person who believes in punctuality and clear rules. She loves her children more than anything, but has some firm rules for the kids when it comes to chores, homework, curfews, and TV/computer time. She also makes lots of time to do things with the kids and is always looking for what she thinks of as teachable moments – opportunities to talk about big issues and lay down a good moral foundation for her kids.

Her ex-husband Peter couldn’t be more different. When they were married, they fought a lot about what he called her uptightness and she called his lazy attitude. As you can imagine, Peter parents differently than Jan. He isn’t as worried about how much TV/computer time the kids have and lets them watch TV before their homework is done. He doesn’t expect them to do any chores at his house and in fact doesn’t do too many himself.

Because Jan is so rigid about bedtimes and curfews, he often returns the kids late just to tick her off and sometimes lets them stay up late on the weekends. He even allowed their twelve-year-old daughter to stay out until 11 p.m., which Jan thought was ridiculous. (more…)

Anytime you become a member of one of life’s many clubs, you’re introduced to new terminology. When you’re planning a wedding, you start tossing around terms like registry and flatware. Parenthood brings forth birth plan and lactation consultant. In the divorce zone, the lingo includes custody, mediator, and spousal support (that last one sounds like an uncomfortable device you might have to learn to live with after an operation, doesn’t it?) (more…)

by Christina Frank

Of all the challenges that working full time has thrown my way, I am most plagued by the getting of groceries—where to get them, when to get them, and how to get them into my home from wherever they originate.

For almost a decade, I’ve been a member of a fabulous food co-op. The prices are amazing, the produce is amazing–but the amount of time, effort and psychic distress involved in membership is also, well, amazing. In order to reap the financial and health rewards the co-op offers, you pay in other ways. You have to work there for 2 hours and 45 minutes every four weeks; if you’re me, you have to figure out how to get there now that you rarely have use of a car, because the co-op is more than 20 blocks away. And the process of shopping can take hours, especially if the checkout person is new and doesn’t know her celeriac from her lacinato kale. (more…)

by Brette Sember

It is becoming more and more common for children to have passports. Some families routinely travel overseas on vacation, others have family abroad, and many apply for passports to comply with border crossing rules into Canada and Mexico. When you’re divorced or separated, the issue of a passport for your child can become a delicate one, particularly if you are concerned about parental kidnapping. (more…)

by Christina Frank

Last Thursday was my younger daughter’s birthday, so the four of us went out for dinner to celebrate.

The four of us means R was there.

We’ve done this before, of course–re-enacted scenes from our former life as an intact family. We’ve done it on Christmas morning (twice) and on the girls’ birthdays. (more…)

by Brette Sember

In most divorces or separations, the children live together at one parent’s home. There are times though, when the children end up in different households after a separation or divorce. In general, courts believe it is in the best interest of siblings for them to live together. A divorce is hard enough, but to ‘lose’ a parent and also a sibling at the same time is a huge change. (more…)

by Christina Frank

I am so clueless when it comes to understanding the many machinations of money (yet admirable for almost always being able to alliterate?)

During the last couple of sessions with my ex and our mediator, money’s what we talked about –proving that, as with so many things in life, divorce ultimately comes down to cash: where it used to come from, where it will come from, who owns what, who owes what to whom, and who bought the girls their last pair of snow boots. (I did.) (more…)

by Brette Sember

As if taxes weren’t complicated enough, being a divorced parent adds another wrinkle to the process. As we inch towards April 15th, let’s take a look at how divorce might affect your tax return: (more…)