Magazine editors always want me to end sweet. That’s why the original ending for yesterday’s “What I Miss Most…” post here on MommaBlog was “…having an entire day without kids – and not missing them terribly!”
Barf.
I guess it’s their way of atoning for letting me rake motherhood across the coals. Yet every once in a while, I wonder if they’re right. (more…)
What I miss most is…
…using my tweezers on my eyebrows, instead of using them to retrieve Barbie’s shoes from the heating grate.
…dreaming long enough to find out whether George Clooney wears boxers or briefs.
…having an entire conversation that has nothing to do with poop. Aw, geez! There it is again.
…accessorizing with jewelry and scarves, rather than marker and what appears to be butternut squash & corn.
…dashing out with my car keys and some Chapstick, instead of packing up like the traveling circus just to go to the mall.
…showering without someone opening the door and handing me the phone while saying, “Some lady wants to talk to you.”
…to read a book anywhere but my car, because the baby naps only in her car seat.
…reaching the bottom of the laundry pile. For days.
…my purse, which I haven’t seen since I bought the diaper bag.
…non-animated television programs.
…sauntering through parking lots, supermarkets and Target without having to shout, “Stay by Mommy!”
…sex.
…uninterrupted telephone conversations. And, did I say sex?
Share, share, that’s fair: Tell us–What do you miss, Mom?
Need more giggles like that? There’s plenty of them in Jen Singer’s Stop Second-Guessing Yourself parenting series. Filled with helpful and funny quotes by MommaSaid.net’s fans and loads of advice and humor by MommaSaid’s founder, Jen Singer, you’ll get what you need — just as soon as you can hide in the bathroom long enough to read a few pages.
For more information on where to buy them, visit My Books.
Share with us your favorite red thing in the comments below for your chance to win this Go Red package from the American Heart Association.
I don’t jump behind just any old cause. Besides, you know my “thing” is cancer, because, well, my thing was cancer. But then this came across my in-box, and I just had to get involved.
Did you know that one in three women die of heart disease compared to 1 in 30 for breast cancer? Me neither. In fact, cardiovascular disease kills approximately 450,000 women each year, about one per minute. To raise awareness, the American Heart Association has declared today, February 5, 2010, National Wear Red Day. Wear something red today to help get the word out, including these important facts, courtesy of the American Heart Association: (more…)
My hospital room view, only here it's from my car in traffic on the FDR Drive.
I made a deal with the Sun: You keep rising every morning from behind the smokestacks that hover over the buildings on Roosevelt Island, and I’ll fight another day.
And then every morning I’d wait, watching the waves on the East River, at first a deep, midnight blue, and then solid gray, and finally, brownish gray as the Sun kept its promise to me. I’d slide off my bed, careful not to yank out the tubes carrying the orange drugs into my arm, and roll my chemo pole into the bathroom.
The Sun was up, and so was I. As promised. But my end of the bargain was harder to keep. (more…)
I just got back from Kansas City last night, so while I play catch-up, I’m going to post this classic MommaSaid post about the time I dyed my hair red. Of course, back then I had no idea I’d end up bald in a few years and longing for red hair — any hair. But it’s still a fun one. At the end, please tell us your biggest hair salon mistake…
by Jen Singer
“You look like you need a guitar,” my brother told me when he spotted my newly dyed red hair. “And leather pants.”
My hair wasn’t that red. Not Johnny Rotten red. Not “Lucy, you got some ’splainin’ to do” red. But still quite different from my usual drab postpartum brown with blond highlights. And that was the point. I wanted to be somebody else – or at least look like somebody else – so I dyed my hair red for the first time. Soon, however, I’d realize it would be the last. (more…)
Honestly, I don't know how I found time to launch this web site in the first place, but I'm glad I did. Thank you for continuing to visit. Hey, can you carry this?
Seven years ago today — tonight actually, because I hadn’t yet learned how to program HTML on my own and needed Pete to push the buttons – I posted MommaSaid.net for the very first time. It wasn’t really a blog then, but some funny stories, a few photos and the very first Housewife Award®, given to my neighbor Nancy for playing peekaboo every day at the school bus stop – behind the one and only tree. (more…)
Andrea Summerville of B'Cara Salon trying to make me look like my eyelashes are naturally long for Park Place Magazine.
“What other rooms would you like to shoot in?” the magazine photographer asked me this morning, sweeping her hand toward my family room.
“Uh, well, this is the room I cleaned,” I said, thinking about the little papers from my shredder strewn pretty much all over my office floor and the dining room filled with remnants of The Great Closet Clean-out of 2010.
When she finished taking my photo on the couch, I let her photograph my kids and me in the living room. I didn’t have to move the tape dispensers, which was nice, and nobody reading the magazine article about me and “Mom 2.0″ will see the Pee Wee Herman doll sitting on the coffee table. Not this time, anyhow. (more…)
